The myth of normal separates babies & mothers at birth.
The myth of normal expects a social species to sleep alone.
The myth of normal believes babies should sleep through the night.
The myth of normal ‘teaches’ babies to sleep by ignoring their needs.
The myth of normal demands toddlers to share before they’re ready.
The myth of normal labels a child as a problem for not sitting still for 7 hours.
The myth of normal isolates mothers from the essential support village we once had.
The myth of normal is weaning at a random, arbitrary, socially acceptable age.
The myth of normal created mental and emotional illness through separation and disconnection.
The myth of normal is thinking children should be seen and not heard.
The myth of normal dictates that boys don’t cry and girls don’t get angry.
The myth of normal presumes academic success is the sole indicator of intelligence and potential.
The myth of normal prioritises structured learning and adult-directed activities over what kids really need, play.
The myth of normal believes childhood is about creating a resume for adulthood.
The myth of normal insists that discipline must involve punishment and fear.
The myth of normal expects children to fit neatly into boxes we’ve created to make adults feel better.
The myth of normal fails to see that all behaviour is communication.
The myth of normal values conformity over creativity, and fitting in over belonging.
The myth of normal shames parents for making choices that don’t fit the mainstream narrative.
Not on my watch, friends!
We’re busting the myth of normal because parenting in today’s world is fraught with paradoxes.
While we have never been more connected through technology, many of us feel isolated, judged, and overwhelmed by the weight of societal expectations.
These so-called “norms” that we’re often told to adhere to aren’t always based on what’s best for our children or us as parents, but rather on outdated traditions or misguided notions of what constitutes a “good” or “normal” child. Of what constitutes a “good” and “normal” parent.
“In this culture, what we get used to as the norm, including certain parenting practices, is neither healthy nor natural. And that’s what I call the myth of normal.”Dr. Gabor Maté
The Pressure of Conformity
We’re constantly bombarded with images and stories of “perfect” families on social media, where children are always smiling, parents seem to have it all together, and homes are picture-perfect.
But behind those filtered images is a reality that many of us experience: moments of doubt, feelings of isolation, wondering if we’re getting this ‘right’ and the perpetual balancing act of work, parenting, and elusive self-care.
Yet, the pressure to conform to these “norms” can feel overwhelming.
Whether it’s the myth that babies should sleep through the night, that toddlers should share, the boys shouldn’t cry, that school-aged children should sit still, or that parents should control their kids, these expectations place unnecessary and unrealistic burdens on both parents and children, stealing the wonder from parenthood and the joy from childhood…if we let it.
“If human history was represented on a clock it wasn’t until six minutes ago, we lived in small band hunter gatherer groups out there in nature where kids were with their parents the whole day.”Dr. Gabor Maté
Rediscovering Your Intuition and Silencing the White Noise
At the heart of these myths is a disconnection from our own parenting intuition.
When we reconnect to our intution, these myths fall away.
For generations, families relied on community wisdom — the proverbial “village” that supported, advised, and lent a hand.
This village prioritized the well-being of children, understanding their needs from a holistic perspective.
Today, in the rush of our modern lives, this village is often missing.
To counteract this, we must rouse our inner wisdom, tuning into our children’s needs and our own instincts as parents.
This may mean prioritizing play and downtime over structured activities, sharing sleep with your baby, recognizing that all behavior is a form of communication, or simply allowing our children the freedom to express their emotions without judgment.
“The parent-child connection is the most powerful mental health intervention known to mankind.”Dr. Gabor Maté
Embracing a New Narrative
It’s time to craft a new narrative in parenting.
One that values authenticity, creativity, and emotional intelligence.
Instead of fitting our children into predetermined boxes, let’s celebrate their uniqueness, their passions, and their challenges.
By doing so, we not only nurture their growth but also forge our bond with them, deepening their ability to securely attach to us.
Myths Have No Power Over Us
In the end, the “myth of normal” is just that: a myth.
As we hold these myths up to the light, debunking them and rewriting our own narrative, we pave the way for a more compassionate, connected, understanding, and holistic approach to parenting.
This is your invitation to join the conversation. Conversations that have the power to change the world.
By coming together as a community, we can redefine what “normal” looks like and create a world where every child (and parent) feels seen, heard, and valued.
I’d love to invite you to join the Raised Good Online Summit with Dr. Gabor Maté, Dr. Shefali Tsabary, Dr. Dan Siegel, Dr. Laura Markham, Dr. Vanessa Lapointe, Maggie Dent, Lael Stone and more are sharing their wisdom. Grab your FREE ticket now. It’s not too late to join!